Watched the Democratic Debate on CNN tonight. No clear "winner" in my opinion, (which is fine) but any chance I get to hear Obama speak, I listen. I got a good laugh when he was asked to respond on how Democrats are often heavily criticized by Republicans when it comes to how they are going to pay for their health care plan. His response was something like, (and don't quote me), 'I don't think Republicans can really argue fiscal responsibility when it comes to spending right now when we're $2 trillion in debt.'

This Sunday is the SuperBowl.

This Tuesday is going to be Su-per.

:: in my best Greek accent ::

Viva Amer-ee-ca!

Tonight I went on a date so bad that I got up during one of his outlandish and unbelievable stories and just said, "I gotta go."

He will not be getting the Bacon of the Month club.

If you and I were dating over Valentine's Day, I would get you this.

[thanks to Freakgirl for the link]

If you live in the Midwest or have watched the news this morning, you'll know that currently we're experiencing an "Arctic Blast." It's currently 1 degree here and 26 degrees in Moscow right now. WTF, right? Don't even get me started.

Unfortunately for you, I'm already started. I'm pretty sure the manufacturers of long underwear are communists living in Cuba or somewhere that they don't need long underwear because of the fact that they are made for MIDGETS. It's like I'm wearing low-rise Capri tights and from my recollection, that's not how long underwear is meant to be worn. I just expressed my displeasure to a co-worker who happens to be Asian, perfect, and tiny and she said, "Oh, man. It must kinda suck that you're tall." THANK YOU FOR THAT.

Last night, a friend of mine invited me out to see a comedy show in Chicago called "That's Weird, Grandma," by Barrel of Monkeys. This comedy troupe is different than any other troupe I've seen because of the fact that they take stories written by Chicago Public School Students (around 4th or 5th grade) and adapt their stories for the stage. The result is hilarity. Trust me on this. Go see their show at the Neo-Futurarium in Andersonville - Monday nights, 8 PM. Don't even act like you got shit going on. You know you don't.

So, before the show, I'm sitting there watching my friend eat his falafel sandwich (in a restaurant that was marked as "unsanitary" to eat in, btw, hence why I was just watching him) when all of a sudden a couple walks past the door and stops. They look at me, turn to each other and start laughing, which, I must say, did wonders for my self esteem. The guy opens the door and says, "Megs?" I smile, trying to figure out how I know these people when they introduce themselves as D-Blogged and Couch! (fellow bloggers) Fun! Strangers recognizing you means you have reached official rock star status in the blog world, right?

Wow, typing that sentence actually just means that I have instantly reached the 8th circle of lameness. Ninth circle is Chess Camp, incase you were wondering.

This just came across company wide email...

"Is your cat the next feline star? (um, yeah!) Does it possess unusual talents or features?

This is an open casting call for all employees' cats. Owners, we invite you to submit your uniquely expressive and original cat images for possible use in a new Yahoo! IMvironment dedicated to cat lovers.

We are looking for images that convey certain specific actions or emotions as revealed in your cat’s facial expression or body language including:
relaxed cat
swiping paw cat
contented cat
yawning cat
scared cat
crazy cat
excited cat
bored cat
cat with its tongue out

Feel free to submit other unusual, entertaining, or interesting feline images (front-perspective images are preferred)."

I'm totally going to pimp Wally out.

"Wally! Look at mommy. SMILE. Let's fluff your fur. WHY ARE YOU BITING ME?!"

Ahoy from Cleveland!

So, I landed here about a half an hour ago and I drove to the rental car place to pick up my car. Hertz claims they never had my reservation, so I asked if they had any cars available. They didn't. I strolled down the line of rental car companies, one by one, and NONE of them had any cars available. I have never been in this situation, so I got back on the rental car shuttle and made him take me back to the airport where I am now staying at the lovely Sheraton Cleveland Airport Hotel.

Fuck this place. I'm never coming back here again.

After a little over 3 weeks, my iPhone is FINALLY working. I wanted to hug Justin, the Mac store guy, but didn't want to completely embarrass myself, so he got a high five and I told him he just made my entire month. Did I mention he did it all for free, too?! I had such a bad taste in my mouth for this phone, but now it's all better. Hooray.

Tomorrow I'm in KC again for about 8 hours and then it's off to Cleveland. Be back on Thursday.

A couple of months ago, you might remember I went on one date with a guy who was the lead singer of an 80s cover band. He was ok, except he had a ponytail and I couldn't hang with the idea of dating a guy with a ponytail - remember him? Yes, I'm shallow, but you couldn't hang with dating a guy with a ponytail past 1989, either, so don't even front.

Anyway! Over Christmas break he leaves me a voicemail and said he has some news and asked for me to call him. I rolled my eyes and muttered, "What does THAT guy want?" But I called him to make sure he wasn't dying or pregnant (just kidding) and he tells me that he was so! sorry! he didn't call me after our date (I was thinking, "No, really, it's okay"). He said that he got a new job and had to move right away and spent the month of December selling all of his possessions, basically. When I asked him, "Well, where did you move to?" thinking it would be Indiana or some boring state like that (sorry, Indiana).

Nope. Not Indiana. He moved to Hawaii.

As if by some Chris Angel MindFreak magic, this guy instantly becomes about 1000 times more attractive. He gives me an invitation to Hawaii sometime (which, for the record, I would never, ever go) which was weird because I only went out with him one time.

So, fellas, if you're striking out with the ladies, just tell her you're moving to Hawaii. And cut your ponytail off.

Prepare to be amazed....

Can't sleep.

Sunday night, Betty R. and I went to see David Sedaris speak at Steppenwolf Theater. Love, love. I wish he wasn't gay because then my crush wouldn't feel so utterly...misdirected. He read (really, he was testing the crowd's reactions) from sections from his upcoming book that is coming out in June. It's focused mainly on smoking and the struggle giving it up. Possibly one of my favorite lines (not verbatim) had to do with his mom who was dying from lung cancer herself. Around the time she was getting sicker, she gave him a pack of cigarettes of a brand he didn't smoke. She heavily wheezed, "I brought...you a pack..." Agitated he said, "Dying or not, she should have KNOWN that I smoke Parliments."

Seeing him rejuvenated me to want to a) read everything he's ever written and b) give a little more of an effort to give this whole writing thing another go.

I may have just entered Wally into the Chicago RedEye's "Most Beautiful Cat" Tournament. It's an NCAA-style bracket tournament where 32 cats compete.

:: holds head in shame ::

Please vote.

Tonight, my parents were in town for their 37th wedding anniversary (woah, i know). They invited me out to Art Smith's restaurant Table Fifty-Two (he was "The Oprah's" personal chef at one time) and it was super good. So, after this really nice meal I took the El home and here's #4,783 why I love living in Chicago(ish). I sat next to a blonde goth (odd, I know) who had a tablet, what I can only describe as "a ye ole pen" and a bottle of red ink that he would dip into and scribed a note to someone named, "Danielle." Of course, I read his letter out of the corner of my eye, because, well, I'm nosy.

Here's what it said,

(ps. my side commentary will be noted in ( ).

(First, he wrote the date in the upper right hand corner in all Latin numerals. The month. Date. Year. Latin numerals.)

"Good evening Danielle,

I am currently riding the Chicago Elevated Train. (um, who the hell says that?) It is cold and I am hungry. But still, I am well."

It was a bunch of blah, blah, blah from there, but I looked up and saw a guy wearing a black eye patch (who I nicknamed "One Eye Willy" in my head) staring at Blonde Goth writing in his tablet. One Eye Willy and I made, well,...one eye contact. I looked over at Blonde Goth tablet, looked back at One Eyed Willy and then rolled my eyes. One Eyed Willy silently giggled and I smiled back. Meanwhile, there was a guy sitting nearby with a bunch of papers with Christian rap lyrics written all over it. He was like the "Rabbit" (8 Mile reference) of the Green Line. And that was all fine and good, until he starting rapping his lyrics outloud.

I don't know if he was expecting us to wave our hands in the air or what.

And now I'm here writing 'hi' to you. And about to call it a night.

Um, it is January 7th and it is currently 61 degrees and lightning outside here in Chicago.

I'm pretty sure this is the end of the world. It was nice knowing all of you.

xoxo,
Megan

People of Iowa: I *knew* I could count on you. Love, Love.

PS. Mike Huckabee scares the shit out of me. Especially after watching "Jesus Camp" on A&E this past week.