Thursday, November 30, 2006
Nutella and peanut butter may just be the best combination EVER. I seriously challenge you to a better combo. Besides gin and tonic, por supuesto.

P.S. I may have had a few "Snowed-In! 2006" cocktails tonight. The best kind of cocktails, btw.

This weekend is going to be ridonkulous.

P.P.S. Wally is currently vacationing at his grandparents' house in Wisconsin and I miss the little fatty.
The storm of the century is headed this way! Beth, change your flight and get here now!

(ok, I'm being a little over dramatic, but apparently the 6-12" of snow isn't supposed to stop until tomorrow afternoon. Gah.)

Beth, we may see you on Saturday instead?
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Whenever you (are presumably forced to) listen to Beyonce's "Irreplaceable," do you also immediately change the lyrics to, "(My balls hang) to the Left...to the left...mmmm..."?

No? Just me?

Oh, I'm sorry, did I just ruin that song for you?
My eye has been twitching like a mofo for the past two days. Awesome, the ticks are starting.

Beth is coming in this weekend to see the Packers/Jets game with me! I'm debating what bar(s) to take her to on Friday. Decisions, decisions. Saturday late afternoon, I think we'll drive up to Sheboygan so she can experience 'the motherland.' Seriously, who doesn't want to party in Sheboygan? $3 Bombay Sapphire Gin and Tonics? I'm in. And then we're driving up to Green Bay on Sunday to go to the Olive Garden, I mean...the Packer game.

I can taste the breadsticks from here.

So, strap on a pair, Beth. My mom just called and said it's supposed to be about 30 degrees on Sunday, so pack your moon boots and blaze orange hunting gear. Woo woo!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I just ate a meal that consisted entirely of pudding. Chocolate and tapioca, incase you were curious.

I hope each of you had nice Thanksgiving weekends. Myself, I spent it in Wisconsin. The land where you can add a brat to your salad for only $3.00 more. Try to contain yourself.

We spent the weekend in Milwaukee, visiting with my parents' friends and their kids (who are all around my age). We basically shop, watch football, drink and eat all weekend. Viva Amer-ee-ca, I love zis country. What did you all do?
Friday, November 24, 2006
This is by far one of my favorite Letters to the Editor actually published in my hometown paper.

"I can taste the bread sticks all the way there."
Wednesday, November 22, 2006

My friend, Chris, is doing some work for Comedy Central which will air over Thanksgiving weekend. Here's a clip. Chris is the guy you see above in the green cut off t-shirt and red hat. Yay!
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Ah, Thanksgiving. :: lifts up shirt to offer the traditional holiday belly bump to you ::

This year, I'm making the effort to "eat healthier." Go ahead, boo and hiss. But when they're showing shots of big bellies and fat asses (literally) waddling across the TV on NBC's Nightly News, and you're questioning, "Wait - is that MY ass?," -- it might be time for a breather from the cheese wheel.

Basically I'm just trying to mind my portion-size of food - which growing up in America, about a third of us waddlers have no concept of what that even means. Apparently, it's not normal to eat only a mound of Stove Top stuffing for dinner (I'm guilty) in other parts of the world. Seriously, China, why didn't you tell me this?

It's also probably no secret that (given my Wisconsin German/Scandinavian heritage) I don't like giving up my liquor/beer. At all. In preparation for what Thanksgiving brings (mmm...stuffing and the biggest bar night of the year), I'm noticing (this week specifically) I've been more apt to work out longer and eat only hummus and carrots for lunch or one vegetarian fajita for dinner if it means i can chill with my friends, have a few more glasses of wine, and still be able to enjoy the Thanksgiving meal on Thursday. Somehow I don't think this plan really fits into the food pyramid, but whatever.

So, this Thanksgiving, I want to give thanks to you, liver. Often neglected at the Thanksgiving table, you've been a quiet soldier to many, as we get ready for our holiday weekend bender. I love you.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Hellllo, bitcheeesss!

I'm quite looking forward to sipping on a gin and juice (or 5) tonight. With my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Tonight's plans include going out a faux 'date' tonight to see James Bond (meow) and then I will be ditching to meet up with my friends at some bar downtown. This is how we roll.

So, what do you guys think of "The Office?" I kinda like the new brown-haired girl, but of course my allegiance is with Pam and Jim getting together. Mmmm...dreamy Jim. Pam really needs a new hairstyle if she's going to keep up with the new girl. I'm just sayin'.

I could keep rambling (which I KNOW you want) but will refrain.

P.S. Mario Lopez was robbed.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Finally. A disappointing season of Laguna Beach is finally over. I hope they don't have anymore kids with unnecessary "Ys" in their name join the next season's cast. :: I'm looking at you, Kyndra ::

Someone this weekend told me I looked like this person, aka "the chick from Lethal Weapon 2." I didn't even know who she was, so I had to look her up. Anything is better than being told you look like this person, though. LOL. (that one was for you, Cody.) Whatever, she's worth $900 million. Better than lookin' like someone po. Ho, fo sho.

Clearly you can tell I'm reaching for shit to talk about on this thing. Humor me, people.
I hate having to write evalutations for co-workers because I just feel like an asshole.

"Perhaps Lucy could bring less personal issues into the office. No text messaging to friends during meetings might bring in less bad news during the day."

She and her boyfriend constantly fight (in Spanish), which is somewhat entertaining to try and decipher. "What's a 'pequeño puta'?" (kidding)
Monday, November 13, 2006
Cheers and Jeers from this past weekend

Cheers:- I fit into a smaller size pair of jeans this weekend - yeah!

- I was stalked on Friday night at a bar by some creep (who told me he already had our son's name picked out - Kessler - yeah, that's right, like the whiskey) and had to have my friend Kelly walk me to my car at the end of the night.

- The Bears won!

Jeers:- Betty Rocker and I went to see "Borat" on Saturday night. The theater was packed by the time we got there, so we were forced to sit in the front row. I got to sit next to "Mr. Coughsalot-Who-Had-Already-Seen-The-Movie-Five-Times." He kept saying, "Oh, I love this part,"(dude, S.T.F.U!) and I'm also pretty sure I've contracted the Bird Flu from his constant fat guy hacking. Betty R., was even MORE unfortunate enough to sit next to "Mr.-450-Lb.- Guy-Who-Smells-Like-He-Hasn't-Showered-In-About-10-Weeks." The guy literally smelled like dead fish. Betty R. compared it to the smell of someone's belly button. The smell would waft over and OH MY GOD WHEN WILL THIS MOVIE END? :: dry heaves ::

I hate to end this on a negative note, so um...I bought a really cute headband with a skull on it this weekend?
Sunday, November 12, 2006
I called my parents just to say "hi," and received some terrible news that a childhood friend of mine died in a car accident. I'm not really sure what to say about this other than how terrible I feel for the family, and how flashbacks of us playing as kids just keep going through my head. Ugh.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
So, I walk into work today, everything's normal, and then I'm ask to get on a plane and go to San Antonio tonight for a meeting tomorrow.

Seriously, does this happen to other people in their jobs or is it just mine? I wonder if I'll have time to go home and pack some clean underware.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Help me decide for tomorrow's 6 AM voting wake up call: Fancy electronic voting machine doodad or old school paper punch thingy?
Saturday night, I ended up at the Hideout with friends and listened to the sweet, soothing sounds of Yacht Rock - all your favorite Michael McDonald, Hall & Oates, Bruce Hornsby & the Range, Kenny Loggins, Captain & Tennille, and Steely Dan your little heart could take. It definitely helped that they were all dressed with little yachting caps and fake 'staches. Little did I know that I would run into Chicago celebrity....Mr. Tamales. I had a friend take a picture of me with him (I may have had a couple of cocktails in me), and am currently waiting for her to send the photo to me. Rest assured, I will share.

Sunday, I watched the Bears get their ass kicked by some pansy assed Miami Dolphins. Pathetic.
Friday, November 03, 2006
I (finally) paid off my credit card and it feels so good to be done, I can't begin to tell you. I'm kinda addicted (read: season pass on TiVo) to the A&E show, "Big Spender," and I'd like to think Larry Winget and his shiny bald head would be proud of me. Word.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
So, guess who got emails yesterday from friends encouraging her to come out to the bars dressed up in full-out Halloween gear, with the promise that they, too, will be dressed in full Halloween gear, only to get to the bar and not only was no one else in the bar dressed up, but her "friends" were barely dressed up to qualify "in costume." (longest. sentence. ever.)

I hate you guys!

:: runs away crying ::