Happy New Year, everyone! Here's to a great 2008 to everyone.

*clink* and *mwah*

Love, Megs

After two trips to the Apple store, over an hour spent on the phone with tech support and a bagillion dollars later, my iPhone is still in it's box, not working. Sadness. I'm working on it getting the situation fixed, but it is contigent upon me winning a bid on Ebay, if you can believe that. Wish me luck.

PS. I kinda hate and love you, Steve Jobs.

Is it part of local newscasters' job descriptions to have the worst sense of humor ever?

I finally got internet in my condo. Rejoice!

Reason #4,578 why I can't wait for new TV to premier after the holidays: I can't take one more god damn episode of NBC's "The Singing Bee." This show makes my ears bleed. Wait, is that Chyna in the audience?

My parents drove from Wisconsin the other day and we spent 2 days painting my entire condo. How nice are they?! My first "home improvement" project, and my place is lookin' really good. After living with white walls the past 10 years or so, being able to paint my walls a color - any color - is pretty awesome. My living room and kitchen is now Silver Sage, my bathroom is now Ridge View and my bedroom is now Silver Service. (the last two are similar shades of lavender).

I also bought this mirror to go behind my couch in my living room. It delivers in a few weeks. I didn't look, but I hope it doesn't weight like, 90 lbs. Oops.



Pretty.

I just realized how 'adult-sounding' this post is. The next thing you know, I'll be blogging about how I saw broccoli on sale for 39 cents. Jesus.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

How handy. Here is a guide to dating me.

Made it to Sheboygan despite nearly 0 visibility on the roads today. Nothing can keep me away from paradise. Nothing.

My family had an exchange student from Norway my senior year of high school. It was all my idea, but I'm convinced my parents went along with it in an attempt to snap me out of my only-child tendancies before I got to college. Anyway, her name is Camilla and by the time she left, she was affectionately known as the "Nordic bitch" amongst my friends.

My best friend, Liz, and I went to visit her in 1996 and together we toured Europe. Since then, we've sort of lost touch, except for the holidays. Her family and my family still exchange Christmas presents every year. I get more excited about the weird Norwegian troll Christmas gift wrapping paper than anything. Hand me a Norweigan cardboard box and I could probably entertain myself for hours.

Anyway, yesterday I got an email from Camilla. She's now living in Malta! I pride myself on my mad geography skillz, but I even had to look up where exactly Malta is. All I know is, it's about a $1300 plane fare from Chicago to get there. Won't you sponsor me? We're sisters, after all. Torn apart by circumstance. It's tragic, really. Okay, I'm not convincing you, am I?

Anyway, yay! A cool new place to someday hopefully visit.

What are you getting your bosses for Christmas this year?

The weirdest thing happened to me this weekend.

About a year ago, I went out a few times with this guy, Mark (not his real name). He was (to put it bluntly) an asshole, so we stopped talking to one another.

About a month ago, a co-worker of mine, Tim, REALLY wanted me to meet up with him at a bar after work. I later found out it was because he wanted me to meet a guy that he thought would be a potential good match. I turned him down and told him that I was going to go out to another bar instead, and so we never met up.

So, last Friday, I am out with a bunch of co-workers for a Christmas party, and Tim tells me that he still really wants me to meet his friend, who he tells me works at Smith & Wollensky's. Mark happened to work there when we dated, so I asked Tim, "Is his name Mark?" And Tim says, "Yes." My reply was, "Oh, I've already dated him."

I'm pretty sure this means I have officially dated everyone in Chicago.

But, wait - it gets even CRAZIER. I'm out on Saturday with my friend, Lori, and lo-and-behold who do I see out on Saturday night? Mark! I haven't seen that guy since we stopped talking to one another, and seriously, what are the chances that this would happen?

I went up to him and said, "Are you Mark?" (because it had been a long time since we've seen each other) and he said, "Yes," and then I said, "I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Megan. We went out a few times about a year or so ago." And then he said, "Yes, of course I remember you." Then he told me that I'm looking good (damn straight) and that he was sorry for all of the b.s. that happened between us. He said that it was pretty much all his fault. Uh, yeah. We made a little more small talk, I wished him well and walked away.

If this isn't some sort of testament the power of energy or whatever, then I don't know what the hell that was.

Chicago Mayor Richard Daley and myself want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas.



Notice how I'm slouching because he's like, 5'2" tall. It's cropped all funky because my full name was written at the top, and I just can't be havin' that.

I started to make a list of things I love about the holidays, and realized quickly that most activities revolved around cocktails. You wanna see the list anyway? Of course you do.

Things I love about the holidays
by Megan S.

- Drinking at work
- Drinking after work
- Drinking with mom and dad on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in order to tolerate other family members
- Baking Cookies
- Receiving fancy wine from my boss
- Holiday work parties with free booze
- Holiday Christmas parties with friends
- New Years Eve parties
- Bloody Marys at Vreekes in Sheboygan

See?

Things I hate about the holidays
by Megan S.

- Hangovers
- Zales Commercials

Can I get an Amen?

Yesterday morning while busting ass to get to O'Hare, there was a homeless guy standing near the entrance singing, "Stand By Me" for change. Not only was he off-key, but he burped while singing as I walked past him. If he had burped on-key, that would've been a totally different story. He definitely was not getting any money from me, but I should've offered him a Gas X Thin Strip to throw in his little bucket instead. Damn. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

I made it there and back just fine. No time for The Cigar Box, sadly. Next time!

Tomorrow was supposed to be a day off, but I'll be here at work instead. You lucky bastards might get another post out of me before the weekend.

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to have a flight at 7:45 AM to Kansas City. Incase you haven't seen the news lately, Kansas City is basically an ice skating rink right now. You can start laughing now. And then you'll feel really bad when you hear my plane skidded off the run way. Then you'll cry and be like, "Man, Megan was so cool." And I'll be up in heaven wishing they had reliable internet service up there to type you guys and tell you that heaven's awesome and that you can order pizza and watch a new episode of The Hills on demand anytime you want it.

Seriously, say a little prayer for me that I make it there and back okay.

Yesterday, I got into an argument at Caribou Coffee.

This jagoff (my new pet name for him) is sitting there, reading. He happens to be sitting in the only spot in the entire place that has access to an electrical outlet. I was sitting at a table next to him, working, and my computer battery was dying really fast. Since he wasn't using the outlet and we could've easily traded spots, I politely asked him if he would mind if we switched seats. I even used the word, "Sir." "Sir, would you mind if we traded seats?" Any normal, rational human would've switched spots. But nope, he glared at me, muttered something back that I couldn't decipher, looked away, and then pretended to be on the phone.

I sat there, slightly stunned. I waited a few minutes until he was "off the phone" again, and then I decided to pick up my laptop and battery pack and sit right at the table with him. He is extremely agitated by this and declares to me (and the entire place), "You canNOT sit at this table with me!"

What was he going to do? Call the police because I sat at the same table he was at? It's a free country, I can sit wherever the hell I want to. So I sat and started to plug in when he tells me that there is another outlet across the way and he declares he has someone meeting him so I can't sit with him (which, obviously, never happened). He said to me, "Where are your manners?"

I say, "Look, I asked you politely if we could switch since I didn't think it was going to be a big deal since you weren't even using the outlet, but you didn't even have the DIGNITY to respond to me. So I sat down." There was no outlet on the other side, so I asked the guy behind the counter where it was and he told me that I would have to move a cabinet to get to it (so I would have never seen it) but there was one there. While we were moving the cabinet, the Caribou worker just said, "That guy is ALWAYS here."

At this point, I'm fuming. While I was walking back to the other table to pick up my things, I got all dramatic said the most ridiculous thing to him.

"AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU, TOO."

Which is probably the dumbest thing I could've said at that point, but I figured it was better than saying, "You fucking fuck," like I wanted to. You know, it's Christmas and all.

In St. Louis tomorrow and Wednesday for work, incase you're looking for me.

Today, I had to sift through resumes to fill an open part-time promotional spot we have, and one girl actually sent me a full body shot of herself in lingerie. I seriously only asked for a head shot. Another girl sent me a photo of herself with her dog in MATCHING OUTFITS and her boobs were practically hitting me in the face through the computer screen.

Seriously, how is that professional? And the weirdest part is that they knew it was going to a female. Bizzaro.