Sunday, December 31, 2006
Happy New Year's Eve!

Yesterday, friends of mine from college drove up with me to Milwaukee to watch Marquette beat their arch rivals (snicker) Savannah State in basketball. So, I'm sitting there, watching the game, when my friend asks, "Megan, are your parents sitting right there?" And lo and behold, my Ma and Pa were sitting - IN BETTER SEATS THAN US - a few rows ahead. Good thing I'm no longer 19 when that sort of thing would've been mortifying.

A friend of mine from Michigan is coming in for tonight's party. Five of us single girls will be heading out, and somehow I still believe there will be no drama and that everyone will have fun. Am I being naive? Pictures will be forthcoming. Luckily, a friend of mine offered her place for all of us to crash tonight so no one will be driving. And neither should you. Ok, end of lecture.

:: MWAH! :: to each of you! Here's to a great '07!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Christmas at my parents' house was nice. A certain (elderly) relative of mine was, dare I say, jovial. I guess she got the memo that you're supposed to be nice to your relatives at Christmas because they hold the key between you and Shady Pines nursing home. Ah, family.

My parents always give awesome gifts, and I feel such guilt when they open my miniscule gifts in comparison. For instance, I'm really looking forward to taking the writing class at Second City, taking a couple of cooking classes at Flavour, trying out my new golf clubs/bag. Oh, and thanks for the Sephora gift certificate and all the other stuff. Wally loves his new feather teaser and catnip. Hope you enjoy your bbq sauce and rib rub, dad. Mom, enjoy that book and Garrett's popcorn I got you. Sorry I ate some of it.

Someday I'll put you in the most BEAUTIFUL nursing home ever.

Last night, I headed back to Chicago so I could hang out with Ken and "Write On, Megs," foreign ambassador/harrasser, Jeff. He's back in the states with his wife, Lorraine, and it was great to see him again. The last thing he said to me was, "See you on the internet! Oh, and come to Asia." An open invitation to Singapore? That might never happen again. You and Lorraine might just be taken up on that offer.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006
I'm back!

More later!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Happy Holidays, everyone.

Yesterday, as I placing a very pissed Wally (via cat carrier) into my car, the friendly convicted sex offender who lives in my building was walking past and said, "Merrrrrry Christmas! Are you moving out?" I answered, "No, just going home for the holiday!"

Nothing like telling the convicted felon who lives on your floor that you're going to be gone for a few days. Please, welcome yourself to cookies in my fridge and my laptop.

Hope you guys have a good holiday!
Friday, December 22, 2006
You know the BMW ad where the kid is freaking out (over a Nintendo 64 in the actual video, but digitally remastered to be some stupid robot toy in the commercial)? Well, the kid is all grown up now and has an incredibly boring MySpace page.

Oh, and here's the Nintendo 64 kid remix.

Thursday, December 21, 2006
These last couple of days before Christmas are brutal around work. The fact that I'm bored with the internet tells you I may have clocked my fair share of hours online. I'm considering liquor at this point. Send for help.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Fun with links!

Incase you're still wondering what to get me for Christmas. Mami still needs a new pimp cup.

I'd also accept this.

Now this is a shitty job.

You American sluts.

Confidential to Betty Rocker: Connecticut is a no go. Fo sho.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Tonight, I got out of my car and walked behind a really weird looking older dude who lives in my building. We get to the door, he stops, turns around and says, "Are you followin' me?" I'm thinking he's kidding, politely laugh, and say, "Ha! - Yes." And then he stops, blocks the door and in all seriousness says, "Stop following me. Leave me alone. Stop following me." Realizing he's clearly insane and just *slightly* on the schizophrenic side, I say, "Ok. Sir, I'll leave you alone. I live in this building." He then starts repeating, "Stop following me. Pretty girl. Stop following me."

Did the schizophrenic just pay me a compliment? Cause I'LL TAKE IT.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Last night was just flat out ridiculous. Magical. But ridiculous.

I asked my friend (and "Real World" fanatic), Dan, to go with me to this club to meet the cast of "The Real World" Denver. Dan is an attorney, smart guy, who knows that this show is utter trash, but I think it's his vice or something. We arrived a little early, and both felt stupid standing outside a club to meet these D-List celebrities, so we decided to go to a bar beforehand. While figuring out where to go, the cast arrives. I look up and actually say, "Hey, Colie," all casually as if I've met her before. We talked to them for a couple of seconds before they go inside. Dan just says, "They should have cameras following us around for MTV's "True Life: I am a Loser."

We probably weren't the best people to go to this sort of thing, because all we did was harrass them. They had this fake red carpet area where they were interviewing the cast and I think they hired some fake paparazzi to take photos of people. That's where we ran into Mark. He was on the first season of "Road Rules" and has been on, like, 9,000 Gauntlets. I had a massive TV crush on him freshman year of college...which was like, 10 years ago. Yes, he's still milkin' this show. Dan asked him, "Aren't you like, 40 now?" Smooth.

Davis was awfully sweet - he told us he might be moving to Chicago.

We asked Tyrie if he's going to do any of the follow-up Duel/Gauntlet type shows. He said he probably will, but he doesn't know how to climb a rope. You know he's training his ass off at home right now.

Jager bombs with my boy, Tyrie.

Let's make fun of Dan's "I just came from work" shirt. I'm embarrassed to go on at this point.

But I will. Here's Brooke.

And again.

Dan told Colie, "You're Megan's favorite." Jesus, Dan. Colie is sweet as pie. Slutty pie.

Duh. My head is hurty today.
Friday, December 15, 2006
My boss' office looks like a cross between an asylum and a hospital ward for the sickest of sick patients. No color on the walls other than the black scuff marks from our chairs have made against her wall. As a Christmas present to her, we're surprising her and having painters come in tomorrow to paint her office, and are buying frames for her photos that she currently tacks on her wall. Bonus: we don't have to pay for the paint or painters, since our agency is going to pick it up. Now we just have to move the mountain of papers off of her desk without disrupting anything too much. I hope she likes the colors.

Tonight: I meet the cast of Real World Denver, and then book it to my friend's graduation party from law school.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tonight, I turn around and see Wally lying on the floor looking like this.

Of course I think it's the cutest thing he's ever done, so I try taking another using no flash to REALLY bring out the 'cute factor,' but alas, it turned out blurry/too dark.

I try for one last shot, but apparently Wally had enough modeling for one night and out emerged the cat from Pet Sematary. Jesus, Wal.

I swear, he's cuter in real life.
Did anyone see the dude who lost 212 lbs. on "The Biggest Loser" finale (and won) tonight?! That's like, eight Nicole Richies or something. That's some life changing shiz going on right there. I'll admit, I may have needed a few tissues while watching. Make fun of me, and I swear, I will kick you in the crotch. Swiftly.

As for myself, so far I have lost about 15 lbs...only like, 48 more to go. Fuuuuuck.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Why is it that when I'm writing out Holiday cards, I inevitably write "Merry Christmas!" in the card to the one Jewish person I know? Every! Time!

:: rips up card, starts over ::
Monday, December 11, 2006
Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry, but this will just not do.

You have fucked with the wrong state, California.

P.S. I encourage you to read the quotes with gusto and apply regional accents where appropriate.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Last night I met a guy who asked me where I am from. When I said, "Sheboygan, WI," he asked, "Isn't that the Bratwurst Capital of the World?" Why, yes. Yes it is.

We're big time.

Today, I had the esteemed pleasure of partaking in a little Christmas bowling with Chicago bloggers Mike, Christie, and her boyfriend, Mike, (whom I fondly referred to as Mike Part Deux) at Lincoln Square Lanes. I arrived a little early, so I helped myself to a beer at the bar. While sitting there, about five male workers of LSL were putting up their Christmas decorations, many of which had seen better days (about 50 years ago). One of the older guys was directing the younger guys on how to hang tinsel by yelling at them.


They take their decorations seriously at Lincoln Square Lanes. It was highly entertaining.

Mike beat everyone at bowling with a high score of 123. We are a tough crew to beat.

Self portrait of the bowling crüe. I do wedding photography incase you're interested. Just kidding. Christie, I didn't realize that I cut half your face off in the photo! We'll just pretend I was going for avant garde. Jen and The Rockers, we missed you!
Friday, December 08, 2006
Ok, a couple of days ago, I entered this MSN contest that Perez Hilton had posted as a banner on his blog, and today I got an email saying I won $50 from it. I filled out an affidavite form, so it's pretty legit. God, maybe I should buy a lottery ticket tonight! I never get this lucky!

Quiet you, Peanut Gallery.
I'b sick.

But I'm still going out tonight anyway! You best believe I'm going to have cocktails if I made it to work today. I have Sat. and Sun. to recover, right? Right. It's barely a head cold.

I also have to give a very special "Write On, Megs" thank you to Freakgirl who was able to figure out how to take that stupid navigation bar off the top of my blog. You saved Christmas! xoxo.

And finally, guess who won tickets to hang out and meet the Real World Denver cast (Colie, Brooke, Tyrie, and Davis) next Friday night? Yeah, that'd be me. There will be pictures.
I can't sleep. My room is like, 900 degrees, I have all the windows in my apartment open even though it's like, 5 degrees outside. I just looked at the box the two sinus tablets I took three hours ago and saw, "non drowsy."

Son of a bitch.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
There's this guy from our Detroit office that I really can not stand. The mention of his name (let's call him, "Brad") really just makes my skin crawl and gets my blood boiling. I've told my boss that I want to avoid having to work with him at all cost. The dude is mentally whacked, flies off the handle and yells at everyone. I simply don't get paid enough to deal.

Well, Brad desperately wants to work in the Chicago office because his little girlfriend works in our office. My boss told him that there's no way that he's going to transfer here because none of us want to work with him. She told him that he's going to have to work on improving his work relationships with all of us.

So, sleazy, transparent Brad comes in today and sneaks up behind me and delivers a small nonfat mocha Starbucks coffee (that I didn't ask for). I politely thanked him, but now it just sits on my desk because I'm afraid he's poisoned it.

Will a canary drink coffee? I feel like we should test it first.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
What's a polite way to tell a co-worker playing Christmas music all day, "Turn it off before I shove this candy cane up your ass?" Even worse, people around me start to sing along.

Girls are so annoying.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Ok, before I begin today's post, I did not realize that there was a BAR inside of Mars Cheese Castle. How did I ever miss this? I knew about the wolf figurine section, and the fact that you can buy sausage wrapped in the shape of a Pabst Blue Ribbon bottle, but a bar? Genius. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to stop - but next time.

Anyway, Beth and I had a great time this weekend. (Special thanks to my mom and dad for a great dinner on Sat. night and the hospitality!)

Despite it being about 20 degrees and flurries outside, it was perfect "Frozen Tundra" weather at Lambeau. Feet and hand warmers were key, and where else in the world is it acceptable to have a brat and gumbo for breakfast? I think Beth described the experience as "heaven." Even though The Packers played terrible, we had a great time and met some great people.

Just a couple of broads at a Packer game.

After all the anticipation and planning, I'm sad to see this weekend end. Aw.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Beth arrived late last night (she will eventually post her full story of her insane journey on her blog). She now has her bag, which we're ever so thankful for, but it didn't happen without incident of me yelling (on sweet, patient Beth's behalf) at some poor guy in baggage handling, "I'm about to go into orbit right now!"

Who says that?! Apparently me.

Anyway, Beth is safe and we're heading up to Wisconsin this afternoon. The trip will include a stop to Mars Cheese Castle.