My friends, Erin & Chris, are coming in this weekend from CA! Tonight, we're heading to Trattoria Gemelli in Brookfield for dinner. Chris' cousin, Megan's husband owns it and it got great review yesterday in the Tribune, so I'm looking forward to some yummy tasties tonight. I'm starving myself on low cal yogurt until then. Mmmm...chalky.

The rest of the weekend will probably be spent spending too much money shopping and general drunken debauchery. Good times.

Incase you can't make it out to Coachella to see Madonna, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, TV On the Radio, My Morning Jacket, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Depeche Mode, the Walkmen, She Wants Revenge, Imogen Heap, Sleater-Kinney, Matisyahu, Scissor Sisters, Ted Leo & the Pharmacists, The Go! Team, and Freakgirl's favorite, James Blunt, (plus many others perform), check out the AT&T Blueroom online to watch it live on April 29th and 30th.

Sorry, shameless plug that keeps me employed.

All I've ever gotten from any one of our three administrative assistants is "That's not my job," or "I don't know," so pardon me if I'm not exactly celebrating "Administrative Assistants Day" for any of you three. Please just retire.

"Can I get my snack?

- You're eating it."

Even though I'm the only one probably still interested, I don't care. Here is the latest installment of The Puppet Rapist - Part 4.

Seriously, the idea of eating a frozen "Smart Ones®" is about as appealing as licking the bottom of my shoe at this point. I buy them with the intent that "I'll eat better today!," but inevitably, I ask nearly everyone in my row what they are doing for lunch, praying that someone wants to go out. Seriously, I'd rather eat wallpaper than this effin' Chicken Oriental Stir Fry. Kill me.

Finally! A great episode of The Sopranos. HBO, if someone isn't getting their hand forceably shoved into hot marinara sauce, then I don't want to see it. Cool?

The first date on Friday was as I had suspected it was going to go. The guy actually quietly burped and then BLEW IT OUT OF THE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH while talking. Gross! I wish real life was like an episode of MTV's "Next," because I would have so next-ed him right then and there.

I was feeling kinda bad about the whole thing Sat. morning, so I was glad I had a haircut planned that day. Always a mood booster. It also worked out perfectly that I didn't have to style it prior to Jeremy's party I was going to later that night. I love it when that happens. Perhaps a picture will follow, but I'm really bad about that stuff, so we'll see. The party itself was a really good time. I stayed at my friends, Laura & Chad's place so I didn't have to worry about driving. All I know is by the end of the night, I was seeing 2 of everything, so it's safe to say a good time was had. Unfortunately, I didn't do a damn thing today, though, because of it. Unless you count "napping" as an activity.

Please do me a favor. Go on salary.com and enter your job position (or the closest thing to it) and zip code and tell me if you're making close to what they indicate.

¿Que paso mi amigos?

I'd like to try and do an entire post in Spanish sometime, but I'd be limited to only really short sentences like, "I like cats," and and "Tiara Girls is really good, no?"

Anyway, I have sort of a fake date tonight. I'm calling it a fake date because I'm not sure how much I like this dude, but he does have a connection to the show, "The O.C." He hooked me in by telling me while on vacation in LA recently he was on set and talked to dreamy Adam Brody near the craft services table. That should give us at least....2 to 3 minutes worth of conversation tonight, right? Sigh. Positive attitude, Megan. Positive attitude.

Saturday is a "House Cooling" Party for my friend, Jeremy, who is moving out of his apartment on Seminary. My ex, Bob, actually got invited on his own (without me inviting him first), which is kinda cool and strange at the same time. I know that my friends like him a lot, and Bob likes hanging out with people half his age, so it's a win-win situation all around. Oooooo. Snap! Just kidding.

Just when I think I'm making intellectual strides by reading more and all those sudoku competitions, one show comes along and threatens to ruin everything.



Fuckin' A.

I know this has been floating around today, but incase you didn't see it yet, here's a link to Jack White's Coca Cola ad, which is only airing in the UK.

Ok, NOW I officially wish Thode a Happy Birthday. The last one was just practice. Although in my heart, April 12th will always hold a special place for you.

Oh, and P.S. Could "Celebrity Cooking Showdown" BE more of a snorefest? The only thing that kept me tuned in is that I was hoping Cindy Margolis' fake tits would melt while flambéing Baked Alaska. And isn't Allison Sweeney a little bit of a stretch using the term, 'celebrity?'

I thought so.

Weirdest quote of the weekend:

"No, Megan, let US buy your drinks because you're driving."

Okay...

I had a great time seeing my parents and friends over the weekend. Thankfully, I only had to spend a total of an hour with my grandma -- less is definitely more with that woman. I was surprised to see that Sheboygan is starting to pick up a little bit --- there's been the addition of some new, non-chain restaurants near the lake that were pretty nice. Hopefully this will be the start of a new trend.

While at home, I also made plans to spend a week at my best friend, Liz's parents' cottage in Northern WI, at the end of June. I'm already looking forward to decompressing and doing nothing all week except drinking margaritas in the river, reading, and I'm even going to try fly fishing. Stop laughing. I haven't done this since I was a kid, so it'll be like summer camp all over again. Maybe I'll even get a tan! Ok, seriously, stop laughing.

Do you think the Easter bunny will still come to the hizzie of a 28-year-old who moved out of her parents' house 10 years ago? Let's find out.

Wishing you and yours a Happy Easter from all of us in SheBaghdad.

So much for No Child Left Behind.

Caution: Rant ahead.

They were talking about this issue on the radio today. An early 20s-something girl called in and said that she dropped out of high school, but went back and got her GED. And now! she's working in an accounting firm for a whole $10/hour, 4 months pregnant, and about to get married. What was appalling is that she acted like, "I done good!," as if we're supposed to congratulate her.

:: bangs head on desk ::

My dad has worked for almost 35 years as a vocational assessment manager at a technical college. He administered GED testing in the state of Wisconsin during that time. Recently, the state of Wisconsin wanted to lower GED testing standards and my dad fought against it. The standards were low enough, he said, considering he gave me the full series of tests in 8th grade (as an experiment to see how easy it actually was) and I passed with flying colors.

Terrifying.

Maybe this means service at McDonald's will be impeccable in 10 years. Surely we will have enough minimum wage workers to supply the demand.

Along with not allowing them to have a drivers license, can't we just mandate sterilization for all high school drop outs, too? Get them out of the gene pool, please.

Happy Birthday shout out to my homie, Ms. t-to-the-H-O-d-e who turns 28 today!*

Happy Birthday, youngin'. Oooo oooo!

*and by "today," I actually mean Apr. 18th. God, I am dumb.

This weekend, I am heading home to Shelabalabadingdong, WI, (officially known as Sheboygan, but more widely known as SheVegas) to celebrate Easter. But Easter in SheBaghdad isn't just about stuffing your face with ham and Cadberry eggs. It's also about the Knights of Columbus-sponsored brat fry at the local Piggly Wiggly and $.75 tappers at Screamers bar.

A holy weekend is upon us, indeed.

A performace ("Iraqtile Dysfunction") at The Second City this weekend has inspired me to check out writing classes at either Second City or Improv Olympic. Curious if any of you Chicagoans have taken a class there before? A good friend of mine took classes at Improv Olympic and said it's less of a machine that The Second City is. Might be more up my alley.

I just cleaned the hell out of my apartment.

Fuck you, dust mites and your eggs! I totally KILLED you. BOO YEAH.

I am totally awesome.

...

Ok, maybe I should reconsider that "no-dating" rule thing.

I'm checking myself out of the dating pool for a while. I think there's some shiz I need to work on to improve myself (in my mind) before I can feel right about dating someone, you know? Done and done.

I say this as I'm watching "The Real Housewives of Orange County" on Bravo. I'm not sure how that show is improving myself, but it's all about baby steps.

No matter how many times I introduce her, I always use the phrase, "my best friend, Liz." As if that phrase became her name.



We stayed out until 4 am on Friday night dancing. I ended up getting chatted up by some medical research analyst who works at the university. Liz got all excited that I met someone, but all I could say was, "He's kinda nerdy." She said, "Why?" And the only reason I could come back with was, "He sails."

I can't date no Popeye from Madison.