I'm so bored on this conference call, I'm actually starting to sniff Wite Out®.

My current favorite ad. There's nothing wrong with drinking wine out of a sports mug.

It's probably not a good thing when you back pain spreads to your thighs causing them to become numb, right?

I think I officially know what "old" feels like. And I always thought old people were just making up ailments because they had nothing better to do.

Um, what's up with the Volvo logo?

Am I the wrong sex to drive this car? Or is it reassurance to men everywhere that they are manly driving this car?

Update to add: (The internet is crazy) "The Volvo circle-and-arrow trademark was created to represent strength, taking its graphic shape from the traditional alchemist's symbol for iron ore."

I highly recommend going to my mom's for Thanksgiving. Cornish Game Hens stuffed with wild rice - you're good enough at our house to have your own damn bird. None of this "sharing" is necessary. I managed to have a pretty civil conversation with my (slightly) evil grandma, which is no easy feat. We gave thanks that everyone at the table voted for Kerry (all 4 of us - i come from a really small family) - and that made the conversation easier to take. Wine also helps.

Friday morning, my parents and I were all ready to head to Milwaukee when Wally The Cat mysteriously went missing. Now, this doesn't sound like a very big deal (I wasn't too concerned myself at first) but 3 hours later - after turning the house completely upside down and STILL not finding the damn cat, I was full fledged freaking out - wondering how he got outside, if I would find him on the side of the road dead (way to snowball the problem, Megs), and how difficult it would be to pack up his stuff at my apartment. Anyone who has ever had a pet would understand this feeling - I was really heartbroken.

We went to neighbors' houses looking for him, cancelled our weekend hotel reservations, and in the midst of searching for him, I threw out my back. So now I'm in physical pain and not able to really move when I started to cry. We're all sitting around, wondering what we should do when just like that, he strolled into the room. The little shit was hiding and sleeping somewhere - (where, we STILL don't know) - but all I know is, cats are really cute until you throw your back out searching for one. Once we found him, we wanted to kill him.

So the moral of this story is, if you're ever in Sheboygan, WI, stop by my parents house. We'll fix up some sauteed kitten and leave the light on for ya.

It is fucking snowing outside.

I know I live in Chicago. I know it snows here. It doesn't make it any easier when it happens. Thus, I will continue to complain every year. And that, Marjon, is what I will continue to bitch and moan about. hee.

Update to add: It took me 2 hours to drive home from work. Hopefully provides you insight as to why I hate the snow so much. And the falling. I fall all the time. I'm an old bitty.

Thanksgiving. A time where we, as Americans, can FINALLY indulge ourselves. No more holding back - you go ahead and SuperSize it, America. We've restricted ourselves for far too long.

R.I.P. Christine 1999 - 2004


May you burn in the fiery pits of hell from which you came.

Um, I think I just bought a car. I talked the dealer down almost $2,000 today, and I pick it up tomorrow.

Details and photo to come...

Last weekend at the Pixies show, Bob and I were standing around and he was telling me stories of his band and some of the shows they played in. My favorite being when their bassist was previously kicked out of this bar they were supposed to play in and the owner wouldn't let him in. Instead of leaving, they decided to just use an extra long cord and the bassist plugged in and played standing outside the bar. Now, that's some dedication.

While I was out Saturday night celebrating my friend Kelly's birthday, I apparently missed U2 performing "I Will Follow" on SNL. If anyone has a clip of this that they could forward me, I would be much oblidged. I would also be much oblidged if someone bought me this for Christmas....and I would be oblidged if you could ship the band to my parents house to perform Christmas carols in our basement rec room. It's a child of the 80's wish. Won't you help?

Watch the cutest music video ever! Be prepared to throw up.

The song is fucking terrible.
(Thanks to Cody for the link.)

That date was a waste of makeup.

I'm going on a first date tonight.

I already feel like I know it won't work out (that's the eternal pessimist in me talking), so can I use the "It's not me, it's you" on them before we even go out?

For the record, if you're in Microsoft Word, and look up "pessimist" in the thesaurus one of the choices is "Gloomy Gus."

I'm a Gloomy Gus.

Incase you're ever wondering what the spanish saying for yada yada is, it's güiri güiri. That's right. There's umlauts.

This Post was Brought to You by the Letter Ü.

Today, I appeared at work wearing brown pants with black boots, and I just want to say to all the Lucky Magazine fashion editors, I'm sorry and fuck y'all.

In an inadvertent effort to purchase only things from Sweden (seriously, what is my problem?), my parents came with me and we test drove a Volvo last Saturday. The price is a tad too high than what I can comfortably afford right now - I could do it, but I'd have to pinch in other places, and I don't know if I'm willing to give up certain things, like being forced to (gasp!) buy generic shampoo & conditioner and I know Mr. Tinkleton definitely does not want to eat 9 Lives for the rest of his life (seriously, cat, just eat it).

Today, after almost getting hit (again) by some moron who didn't look and merged into my lane, I can't take it anymore. Either I need a new job closer to my apartment, figure out how to buy this car, or I start driving a Sherman Tank Truck to work everyday. Which would kinda be big pimpin'.

Bling Blang!

I received a phone call today that there was a "physical altercation" at one of our events. There was a shouting match, someone was shoved, and it ended with security dragging a guy away while a woman was screaming threatening to sue.

This job is driving me to drink, people.

The Pixies show last night was great - Frank Black was all cute rockin' the khakis and black tshirt. And I think Kim looked adorable, despite naysayers in the press. I loved everything they played, but I really fucking loved "Tame," despite a guy in a Urlacher jersey (wtf) next to me clapping off beat and dancing. I had to physically remove myself from that area, otherwise I think I would have shoved him, and that's just not very lady-like.

Neither Bob or I had any love for the opening band, The Walkmen, and it seemed neither did anyone else in the joint. Hello, Coldplay. What is it with you bands and having to have an organ? And it has to be a shitty organ, one that the local Episcopalian church was throwing out and now you're certified as a fucking indie rock band? Come on, now.

It kills me the Pixies are going to be playing the next 3 days here in Chicago and I'm going to be sitting in my apartment, probably watching The Swan or something equally shitty while rock history is be written without me.

Wally is making his "bedroom eyes" at you.



Care to join him for a cocktail, ladies?

"Hey, Dir-tay! Baby I got your money, don't you worr-ay...I said Hey! Baby I got your money!"

RIP Ol' Dirty Bastard, AKA Big Baby Jesus, AKA ODB, AKA Osirus, AKA Joe Bannanas, AKA Dirt Dog, AKA Unique Ason, AKA Dirt McGirt (which was my personal favorite), AKA Russell Jones.

I guess I won't have to pay you back now.

Anyone at work who says, "Man, you look like you've been working really hard," really means, "God damn, you look like shit," and should be shot immediately on site.

The fact that I'm seeing the Pixies on Sunday (I can't believe I can actually say this Sunday, as the tickets have been on my fridge for at least 6 months) makes up for the fact this is gonna be one helluva shitty week at work.

The little pink bunnies and yellow duckies add a nice touch.

Stop taunting me, Arby's.

If I click my heels three times, I will wake up and this will all just be a bad dream, right?

Congrats to Barack Obama for blowing away crazy religious fanatic Alan Keyes for race to the Illinois US Senate. I'll see you again in '08 when you become the first black U.S. President. I felt lucky I even had the opportunity to vote you in today. You are amazing.

I didn't even try to come close to matching today. What you don't see is one sock is a knee high and the other is at my ankle. Hott.

Incase you're wondering who Voter #1 was today at Glendolyn Brooks Middle School today in Oak Park, IL, you're talkin' to her right now. I think everyone that reads my blog (that lives in this country) is smart enough and conscious enough to go out and vote today. If you're a Kerry voter, may the lines be short and swift. If you're a Bush supporter....well, I don't mean harm on you, but I hope a cattle stampede keeps you from getting to the polls.

Kerry got the first vote from me today.

A conversation with Cody:

Cody: Guess who I met last night?
Me: WHO?
Cody: Starts with a Jude...
Me: :: freaking out, thinking it's Jude Law :: "NO FUCKING WAY.."
Cody: ....ends in "ith Light."
Me: hahahaha
Cody: I did not play it cool at all.



Angeluh!

We went to see the movie "Birth" last night (not my choice). I highly recommend this movie to all you pedophiles out there.

I gotta say, Nicole Kidman is looking more and more elf-like these days.